New Journey and PSA

At the beginning of September 2024, J and I relocated back to Atlanta, Georgia. Yes, it was a big change. However, it was not as big of a deal for her as many people think. She has transitioned to the climate and weather really well so far. Being in Atlanta and getting used to public transportation has been another thing altogether. It has been interesting for sure. I definitely will have her phone turned back on and headphones for her to use. I forgot how loud the train actually is.

However, the transition for her benefits for SSI and medical as well as the transition to the school system has been a nightmare. I know it will work itself out in time, it just has been taking forever and is exhausting running from place to place and multiple phone calls or emails. I wish there was a way to have a national system so that once you had any type of benefits all you had to do was update your address and information. But the benefits you received were the same and just automatically transferred. You would think that they had that kind of system in place already, but nope not even in this day and age of technology. Guess no one has found a way to do it if they have thought of it before.

Working on myself has been a part of this new journey as well. Journaling is one of the key suggested methods of personal work and growth because it forces you to get everything down and expose its purest form. You can also look back on previous journal days and see the progression to remind yourself that you have come through some things and will be ok with whatever you currently are going through, at least that's what my therapist says. We shall see. I just know that every day I'm going to do everything in my power to make myself better than the person I was yesterday. And as I grow and learn I will be passing that knowledge along to my daughter. While doing this I also am taking a course in business and have plans to open my own business finally. I of course will also still be maintaining my regular employment as well. So needless to say life is busy but it is a good busy.

I know some of you may have come just to see what is going on in my world, being nosey. Which does not bother me in the least actually, thanks for being an audience and reading. I will say that there will never be any pictures or videos on this blog unless it is an advertisement so please don't expect any. There will also never be full complete updates on anything going on in our lives either. I never put everything on any social platform. So just know that if you are expecting to get a full clear picture of my life from any of my social platforms or by looking at all of them, please don't because you never will. 

Pet Peeves Of Having A Mental Illness

One of my main pet peeves with having and dealing with a mental illness, yes that is exactly what it is, is when people tell me to just get over it. Like "fuck I haven't thought that before, let me hurry up and get happy so I don't ruin everyone else's day with this bullshit (yeah that's what they call it) and go back to being happy and living a normal life." Ugh! I have been dealing with the MDD for as long as I can remember. The PTSD only since 2010. If I could just "get over it" I would have done so a very long time ago so my life would be "normal." I do not think that people realize how many people are actually walking around and living with mental health illnesses without treatment. I know I did for several years. I will say that the only difference for me in life between the time I was living without treatment and the time that I have been living with treatment is that I have 2 more medications that I have to now take daily. I also have more coping mechanisms to assist me in getting through my day and not snapping at people. It is those 2 medications and coping mechanisms that I only received after first admitting that something was wrong and seeking the required help. 

The second main pet peeve of mine with having and dealing with a mental illness is when other people fail to recognize that mental health is a real thing and needs to be discussed so that people stop having negative reactions and thoughts about mental health as a whole. Society as a whole needs to realize that your mental health affects the rest of your health all the time. And that can affect your life and the lives of everyone around you. I am a firm believer that if it is talked about more in society as a whole then more people would seek the help they need. This is especially true in men and the African American and Hispanic communities as a whole. It is so irritating and hurtful to hear people say "that's a white person thing" or "you just listening to them white doctors" especially when I know what I'm feeling and experiencing.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, is a disorder in which a person has difficulty recovering after experiencing or witnessing a terrifying or traumatic event. The condition may last months or years, with triggers that can bring back memories of the trauma accompanied by intense emotional and physical reactions. Symptoms may include nightmares or unwanted memories of the trauma, avoidance of situations/people/places that bring back memories of the trauma, heightened reactions, anxiety, or depressed mood. People with PTSD behaviors may experience agitation, irritability, hostility, hypervigilance, self-destructive behavior, or social isolation. Their psychological experience may be flashbacks, fear, severe anxiety, or mistrust. Their moods may experience loss of interest or pleasure in activities, guilt, or loneliness. They may experience insomnia, nightmares, or both. It is common for them to have emotional detachment or unwanted thoughts. Treatments include different types of trauma-focused psychotherapy as well as medications to manage symptoms.

Major Depressive Disorder (MDD)

Major Depressive Disorder or MDD for short, also called clinical depression and Major depression is a mental health disorder characterized by persistently depressed moods or loss of interest in activities, causing significant impairment in daily life. Possible causes include a combination of biological, psychological, and social sources of distress or trauma. Increasingly, research suggests these factors may cause changes in brain function, including altered activity of certain neural circuits in the brain. The persistent feeling of sadness or loss of interest that characterizes major depression can lead to a range of behavioral and physical symptoms. These may include changes in sleep, appetite, energy level, concentration, daily behavior, or self-esteem. Depression can also be associated with thoughts of suicide. People with MDD moods may experience anxiety, general discontent, guilt, hopelessness, loss of interest or pleasure in activities, mood swings, or sadness. Their sleep may experience early awakening, excess sleepiness, insomnia, or restless sleep. Their whole body may experience excessive hunger, fatigue, loss of appetite, restlessness, weight gain or loss. Their behavior may experience agitation, excessive crying, irritability, or social isolation. Their cognitive (relating to thinking, learning, and understanding) may experience a lack of concentration, slowness in activity, or thoughts of suicide. Repeatedly going over thoughts, over thinking, is also very common with this disorder. Diagnosis requires being seen by a licensed medical professional. There are several treatments for MDD and they consist of medications, talk therapy, or a combination of the two. Increasingly, research suggests these treatments may normalize brain changes associated with depression.

I have experienced MDD for almost my entire life on this great planet. However, I was not fully diagnosed until 2015. I can say that at one point in time, I just thought the way I felt was the way that everyone felt. Talking about mental health was not a thing that my family did while I was growing up. A lot of them still don't talk about it. I can say that I have experienced all of the characteristics of MDD so by the time I decided to go to counseling I was pretty sure that I was clinically depressed. Since being in counseling for 9 going on 10 years, I will say that my journey to recovery has included a combination of medications, talk therapy, and EMDR therapy.

Beginning Again

I created this blog back in 2009 and never fully used it. I have post-traumatic stress disorder also known as PTSD and major depressive disorder also known as MDD. Because of my mental health diagnosis, I have to go to counseling as required. I was recently told that I should start writing down my thoughts and feelings so I decided to put the blog to use. I know no one may ever read this and that is quite alright. What matters is that I am getting all my thoughts out and not keeping them inside. There is not going to be a set plan for writing. It very well may skip around a lot, a. It will be whatever I need to vent/process/discuss that day. If you continue to read thank you it is appreciated, and I hope that through reading you gain some insight into what someone with my mental health conditions goes through daily. 

THERE IS NO CURE FOR MENTAL ILLNESS! However, there are lots of effective treatments. People with mental illnesses can recover and live long and healthy lives. Some of the most common types of mental health illness are clinical depression, anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, dementia, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, schizophrenia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Treatment varies with the type of mental disorder but almost always involves psychiatric counseling. Sometimes medications may be prescribed as well.  With clinical depression, the mainstay of treatment is usually medication, talk therapy, or a combination of the two. 

I have been asked before since there is no cure for mental illness then what is a reasonable goal, after many years of counseling and medication I can now confidently say that the goal of mental health recovery is to improve the quality of life and live a meaningful life, even if there is no cure for mental illness. Treatments can help minimize symptoms so that people can function in school, work, or social settings. Recovery focuses on building resilience and coping skills, rather than just treating symptoms. Recovery can help people develop self-esteem and a positive sense of self. Recovery can be about staying in control of one's life, rather than returning to a premorbid (preceding the occurrence of symptoms of a mental or physical disorder) state. Recovery can be a short-term or long-term process. It can involve a combination of medication, therapy (solo and group), and lifestyle changes that are tailored to each person's needs. Some therapeutic approaches include cognitive-behavioral therapy, eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), and dialectical behavior therapy.

Mental health professionals base their diagnosis and treatment of mental illness on the symptoms that a person exhibits. The goal for these professionals in treating a patient is to relieve the symptoms that interfere with the person's life so that the person can function well. What most people don't realize is that mental health issues can have a massive impact on your physical health. Your brain might not affect every single aspect of your body and its reaction but it does send fight or flight signals where they aren't needed, this extra shot of unnecessary adrenaline can be problematic in our lives. That's normally the effect trauma has on us, putting our mind in constant alert mode and turning it into exhaustion. It is the suppressed emotions that prevent us from moving on with our lives because they keep subconsciously poking the bear.

About Us

My name is Delora, and I proudly live with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and major depressive disorder (MDD). Although there is no cure for mental illness, I have learned effective ways to cope and improve my life with it. One of my ways of coping is this blog, thanks for reading.

I am also including some short information about my youngest daughter Jenesis aka J because I will be frequently writing about her. She is an 11-year-old, going on 12-year-old, who is a very happy and energetic child. She was born in Atlanta, Georgia, and raised for most of her life in Canton and Massillon Ohio. She loves professional NFL football and WWE wrestling. She was non-verbal until the age of 3 1/2 years. She was diagnosed as mildly autistic with a mild intellectual disability at 5 years of age.